yet another clumsy chord [15 Aug 2008|03:46am] as you watch it taking place paths are taken and retraced they're clear in the thickest brush and approaching as fast as the thought that these paths are all sure to separate us post comment

down in the valley [02 Jul 2008|02:22pm] get up get up you've fallen asleep on the porch again the sun is up and i guess you've forgotten where you were there's a man at the door he's mad at the dogs who were mad at you in the back he's being irrational threatening to call the cops its so sad that he thinks he'd need that. go back home go back home the dogs have stopped their barking but revenge is what this man has been seeking all along, if you're dogs wake this man up, he will act as the dogs to you. now his big house and nice car will be easy to see through. when we're driven by our anger, we'd usually follow a fool to war. but i can follow my hung-over head to talking this man back into bed. if this is a prime example of the ones who run this county i think i'm leaving ,... post comment

hold that thought...... [06 Jun 2008|12:55am] you think its time for change and begin walking away right then you confidence fades and you're afraid where you might remain you say you'll change but you still remain it stings; the truth when it rings and resounds within your mind like a million little flys and only when you sleep do they sleep staying in bed all day for peace and time; time is changing pace as dreams come and slip away you thought you had it just the other day i think i forgot my place and the puzzle's lost its purpose anyway we've come so far but so far astray the picture its one big fake we are bullets in a gun we've been loaded and spun as they take us in their holsters to war fighting other loaded pawns corrupt kings. do they see the truth when they sleep. and a dream has him where innocent convicted men would be at the top of his lungs its not me. in a sweat he awakes as they release the guillotine. in a sweat he awakes in his bed. this time; he was not who he had been ...the rise and fall post comment

mister mistake [28 May 2008|03:19am] we all sink or swim once we've jumped in watch to see how they do it before leaving the cliff you can ask if you're ready but don't quite understand and i know it looks shallow but you'd be fast in over your head expecting air and breathing liquid instead post comment

herd of sheep. [29 Apr 2008|02:29am] its in their food. they don't find that anywhere else. they stay because of it. its what they see. other sheep no wolves and people and what do they hear. each other of course no wolves and people why no wolves? a big protective fence think they're happy? they don't know. could they know? maybe. but they don't know here. what if they tried? the dogs will stop 'em. you know something? this reminds you of you and me and the rest of the nation? thats right.the same wavelength post comment

road ends [17 Apr 2008|11:18pm] write this down on a blank paper and don't forget how it goes it'll be the same over and over again but it will not grow old i pour myself a drink and stir tonight i am alone and i take a walk to the park with the guitar find confidence in the stars to sing to the moon and i'll sing until its gone; over the ocean for a sailor's song he sings "lately i can't honestly say that i've been completely honest to my family and freinds," "myself" he says as the song ends he wants to start again. but thats not what happens. and he curses as the moon heads for the atmosphere of and unnecessary war where a mother sings her child to sleep with gunfire in the background as the child drifts off the mother no longer strong now the lyrics have become her own and she'll sing about a glorious day when God takes us from all the devil has made. "believe,believe,believe my child and sleep till you awake to my smile" post comment

the answering machine [19 Feb 2008|12:02am] phone calls that i don't answer anymore like the calling of the shore when i'm already cold i think ive lost what i found before and it came in the shape of a familiar face and it changed from a reflection to a name post comment

nephilim unfinished [08 Feb 2008|01:38am] i heard a story of how giants will come to reclaim this earth. and its got me thinking. are we living wrong; are our ideas off about God and his son, or are we spot on to this one? or has it become not about God. scenery's changing daily here. first clouds and then clear. its cold then its searing hot. is it something we've missed. or seen then dismissed. post comment

all the thoughts like christmas lights tangled in a box. [30 Jan 2008|03:45am] [ music | inrainbows ] if a tree falls in a forest and no body or thing was around, would it make a sound? so many theories life can no longer be simple. i heard that the elections might be stopped short by the law under the patriot act in which if the country would enter a state of emergency (probably close the the election date) the president would maintain his or her position as president indefinitely. i haven't looked into it and i'm not sure if i'd rather look into it or just be surprised when a major US city is destroyed or whatnot. why i even include surprise as an option i don't know. so he'll be president still and probably get a whole term out of it. the term ending in november of 2012. and the next election will be the last due to the end of the world in that december. a prediction shown by the mayans in their calender which up to the day is spot on with solar and lunar eclipses. i think i should really dig into that stuff. to know whether or not i should live like its my last 4 years alive. so many people earth can no longer sustain so much life i finished the song. and its becoming sort of a therapy to play and sing. and i'm sure i'm getting better. thats a fourth of my life right now. friends is another fourth probation and work .. the last half.. quiznos is not bad. i need to ask about that management job they offered. they haven't spoken of it in a while. they started showing me the scheme of inventory and ordering online. that's where they seemingly taught me into a corner and weren't sure where to go from there. anyways, i'd like to be making more money to get this damned probation out of the way. its costing me a total of 1520 dollars. and i've gotten that down to 1220. soon to be around 790. my whole next check has to go to the beautiful state of texas. and as for the five page essay on the dangers of smoking marijuana.. my god they're just fucking with me. i'm gonna take my time and write a really good one. because it oughta keep me busy for at least a few days. now, its nice to be in your world for a while, but the mind seems to yearn for another one's world to dwell. well i just have to wait now. for a long time . and if no body or being is around to hear the tree fall, only vibrations would be created, with no ears to translate the vibrations into sound. i think sometimes that dreams are dangerous. when the last thing you hear is your brother saying "just run, just run" you wonder if the mind is capable of summoning premonitions that are even slightly accurate of what might be ahead in time. perhaps our minds become directors of scenes that play out for us in our heads once we are asleep. its scary what the mind is capable of. two personalities, insanity, delusion. i wonder if at any moment it could just, take control. well. it seems i've been able to single out a few strands of thoughts that i can fold back up neatly. however its 5 am. i need to get back to a sun-means-awaken and moon-means-fall asleep schedule. i bet i'd like it for a while. post comment

progress. [26 Nov 2007|01:09am] A :mistakes you make are all common these days and the guilt thats felt is sharply fake when it would seem that you've learned in the hardest of ways but theres a bigger bill to pay B:and the guilt would rather be on the state a golden act with gold to claim and thats just how they're doing it these days A:now i'm scared of the thought when i die; to find i've been wrong and you might say that fear in me is God but its just what a sunday's teacher taught each generation writes a new song B:and it seems that this one wants it all the highs and lows for the record books and i don't know where i should go over everyone here is a fog of war C:but hey don't act like things have just been changed its a long lived routine so try something new or else you cannot complain. and you'll drown yourself in debt and sorrow and shame we all sink or swim A:sorrow and shame and the nemisis to blame would you keep your self if you mock their shape. and you must be arranged to be able to rearrange quick because the days will fade B:and they will continue dissappearing like golden opportunities to wipe away the stains theyve made hurry before they cover your face C:the past is gone and you'll never see the day that gives you another chance to say how you felt or that you'd stay. instead of driving away and making our biggest mistakes. you must never look back on those days. see now we have no time to waste. we all sink or swim because everyone makes mistakes. see everybody makes mistakes. post comment

summer swallowed us whole. waited for you to come'round. [22 Oct 2007|12:44am] [ mood | comin down with somethin. ] i built a ship that put my decisions on sails and sailed to an uncharted island that i thought no one without the intention could ever discover. as i arrived i was dissapointed to find, a circle made by this indecisive head. it took a year and now i'm back in the nest. and the trip took a toll on the vessel, theres some holes from the times i lost rest. now the sails resemble my confidence, tearing with the slightest wind. when each gust is a chance to sail again. i crafted an anchor that gave weight to my concious and stopped me before i gave in. but before it hit the ocean floor it snapped because the links proved short. now i must go into the dark if i want it anymore. its not a dive that i've taken before. but it cant be bad i haven't even left the shore. there's a million ships, sailing with insurance, its reassuring they're arrival to wherever they've aimed as they slowly conquer the horizon. chasing a lifetime of sunsets as sunrises reset the days and they are finding their island. lets just beleive that we're being deceived and we'll found out that we actually were. post comment

.... [12 Oct 2007|01:48am] there are two screens on opposite sides of the room ones a connection and the other one is a veiw of the world in the news or cartoons i've seen so much that they hardly amuse and in between a set of strings for a tune that i cant finish post comment

journal entries. [08 Oct 2007|01:56am] [ mood | superdooper borderline content ] where did i go for so long. i did not leave this body but i changed my mind somewhere on the way. and this new path has thrown the past to far to see. i used to laugh with myself atleast. hah. i should feel horrible about abandoning people i used to talk to. but i just regret it. i didn't really abandoned them.. just cut my ties with them. for no reason. sorry everyone.. i had a dream i was fighting off pirates with my brother. and i took on one but he was too good with a sword. so kevin hit him in the back of the head. their ships would leave them come back. and other people were just enjoying the shoreline in a seemingly french or some european town. well i could go on about dreams... me and kevin also ended up on the island squatting in an abandoned hotel.afer a family vacation to the beach which we decided to leave home from in a car with no gas. and we started planning how to make money. it was spring break. amazing how real something so ridiculous could seem. now back to watching tv and trying to finish this song. post comment

... [03 Oct 2007|01:12am] theres a past and a present. and the future: modest in its absence, is staying a second ahead as the present is chasing after it. and the past keeps its infinite facts, and screams its lessons at our backs. regret is the grindstone that it sticks our noses in, and we wish we had that chance again. flashes of accidents, a misunderstood accent, or failed acts intended to charm. could i have had it? could i have held on to it? now can i let go of it, and move towards infinite chances at happiness? the future is coming fast, or however you see the glass. its coming and becoming what is now. and i'd like to figure out, if thoughts have the power of the hands of fate, shaping us day by day. and constant visualizations bringing happiness by attraction. but you'd think you could just sit there, but it takes action. say ignorance is bliss, as interventions miss their addict in distress. post comment

and who i am in my dreams is not me. [04 Sep 2007|12:45am] it starts with a cigarette you think you could moderate it then theres a tidal wave of stress don't think it could go avoided a common collapse its a mess come clean but its not related to the feeling of addiction when you've got to start quitting it i just want one more swig of it and inhale another cigarette i want to stop wanting them i want to stop wanting them on tv theres a man explaining the bible and i try to understand but its been twisted by time and changed too much through mistakes in the translations and it occurs to me its not how literal its taken rather how literate we think God would be and i'm sure if he ever spoke it wasn't in english possibly not even a language that even exists anymore i just want to understand it perhaps its not complicated maybe its just a message of guidelines on etiquette i just want one more swing with it to ease up my spiraling head if thoughts stop coming i might have a chance but they wont stop and i have access to medicine but i want to stop wanting it what would my family think if they were reading this its why i keep it hidden to avoid being force fed i could use a little music post comment

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